Sassy & Southern

I Blog with the Naughty Author Chicks

Posted in General on July 17th, 2014 by Casey Crow

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~ Southern Smiles,

Casey

 

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What it means to be a proper Southern Lady

Posted in General on February 15th, 2014 by Casey Crow

 

I ran across this article Black Belt Living, a small-press magazine that focuses on life in the Black Belt which is a stretch of land going through Central Alabama that’s known for having rich, black soil. AKA “where the cotton grows”.

The article was too cute not to share. BTW – it’s a lot easier to read if you channel your inner Scarlett O’Hara voice.

~ Casey Crow

Hello Dahlings…As you are probableh keenly awayah I’m sitting right now on my back patio havin’ my usual Sataday aftanoon Mint Julep. Rory, my dear, devoted husband, is at the country club playin’ that awful game we call golf–I declare I don’t what gets into that man. Hittin’ a little dimpled ball around and chasin’ after it, sweatin’ profusalayh and smellin’ like an old dirtah dawg. Doesn’t make a lick of sense.

I’d ratha be right where I am, out in the sun by the swimmin’ pool gettin’ a little culuh and readin’ Faulknah. Sista Mary Sayrah is comin’ ova lata for tea, if I’m not too tipsy. Did I say that? Fuhgive me…that’s not very ladylike of me. I guess it runs in the familah. You probableh know my distant cousin, Tallulah Bankhead, the actah from up at Jaspah? Let me tell you somethin’ dahlings, she was a hot mess, and I do mean a hot one! Well, I’ve tried to live my life a little bit different than my lovely cousin, dahlings. I only drink fowah cocktails a day, and I’m down to a pinch-a-snuff a week.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, what it means to be a Southun’ lady. I’ve decided ten rules that ladies of Dixie should always adheah to. Would you like to heah them? Of course you would dahling.

Numba wowun. Always, always, always turn youh fanny away from teh crowd when youh excusing yourself in a movie theatuh. You nevah want to show your hindend to innocent bystandahs.

Numba two. Nevah talk about your husand at teh beauty pahlah. Those old hens are doin’ nothin’ but looking to stir up trouble.

Numba three. Keep two feet on the flowah when you’re on the sofa. That means if you’re with a gentleman, honey or watching the home shoppin’ network.

Numba fowah. Nevah date a man that won’t open the cah dowah for you dahling. That means a man isn’t raised right. If Rory doesn’t open my dowah, well, I just stand there until he does. One time, he got all the way home befowah he realized I wasn’t in the cah.

Numba five. Nevah chew bubble gum in church. I always notice who’s a-chewin, honey during the pastoral prayah.

Numba six. Wear a girdle.

Numba seven. Always put tannin’ lotion on youwah skin, honey. You don’t wanna look like a pug when ya fowaty.

Number eight. Don’t work if you don’t have to. Life’s too short, dahling, to be piddlin’ around in some office somewheyah.

Number nine. Alway weah tennis skirts that come down past your knees, honey. The ladies these days, merciful heavens, the skirts they weyah would make a sailah blush.

And finally, dahlings, numba ten. Nevah, undah any circumstances, put an earring anywheah on ya face, dahling. Some of these girls look like theah face ran into a tackle box. Lawd.

I’m going to have one moah toddy and then I’ve got to get my beauty rest befowah high tea then dinnah.

That’s all fuh now dahlings. Ta-ta!

 

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Cute Jokes (and maybe a tad naughty)…

Posted in General on January 15th, 2014 by Casey Crow

Happy New Year everyone! What better way to start it off than with a chuckle or two. Thought I’d share some cute jokes. Okay, some are a tad naughty. (hehe)

I’m thinking, though, a male came up with the first one, but the females take revenge with the last one!

Southern Smiles,

Casey Crow

 

MORNING SEX

She was standing in the kitchen preparing to

boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only

the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly,

‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.’

My eyes lit up and I thought, ‘I am either

still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.’

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced

her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, ‘Thanks,’ and returned to the stove,

her ‘T’ shirt still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, ‘What was that all about?’

She explained, ‘The egg timer’s broken.

*******

Q: Why are men better then women in reading maps?

A: Because only a man can look at 2.5 centimeters and imagine it to be a mile.

*******

The Man Of The House…SMILE

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be THE Man of Your House.
Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, “From now on, you
need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is the ‘Law.’ You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want! Afterwards, you are going to draw
me a bath so I can relax. You will put on soothing music, wash my back, towel me dry, and bring me my robe.
You will massage my feet and hands to relieve any last bit of tension in me, so that I can sleep like a baby. Then, tomorrow,
guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?
The wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have your ass cremated.”

********

And my personal favorite:

 

 

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Heat up your holidays with CAN’T FAKE THIS

Posted in General on November 14th, 2013 by Casey Crow

Fall is upon us and winter is fast approaching so stay warm and what better to heat things up with CAN’T FAKE THIS from Loose, id.  This book is going out of print soon so get it while you can!

CAN’T FAKE THIS is about a divorcee ready to reenter the dating world. Anna Ryan is determined to be the best “product on the market,” which requires a lot more experience so she propositions sexy police officer Chase Harris to teach her how to make hot, passionate love as opposed to just having sex. He takes it a step further, instructing each lesson based on The Twelve Days of Christmas.
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…temptation in a hot package. For more, check out the book trailer.
And here’s a sexy excerpt:
My zipper slid down with a hiss, exposing my bare flesh to the cool air of the room. “Do you know what today is?” I was breathless as the material spilled over my hips.
Chase pushed my hair aside, his tongue sweeping every vertebra until he knelt on his knees kissing the small indention of my lower back. “Sunday.”

“December fourteenth.” I needed to be the one on my knees. My legs had turned all Jell-Oy. Yeah, I wasn’t an expert in the chemistry department, but even I could sense the spark between us, the hot, electric pull. As his teeth pulled at the peach bow of my G-string, I could already imagine his cock sliding into me. He yanked the dress down and turned me around. My crotch was now at his eye level. I rubbed his shaved head, debating whether I should pull his face to my panties or hike a leg over his shoulder. Or both. I settled for the latter before my weak knees collapsed.

“It’s twelve days till Christmas,” I said. The figure eights he licked along my inner thigh made it rather difficult to carry on a coherent conversation.

“Consider tonight an early present.” He swooped in for a taste, or so I thought, as hot air breezed my folds. Before I knew it, Chase slipped my leg off his shoulder and stood to scoop me into his arms. He lowered me onto the cold leather of the sofa, but the chill disintegrated the moment his warm body stretched over me. His large, dark pupils filled with lust — and dare I say, need? — as his dick throbbed between my legs. I squeezed my thighs, putting pressure on his cock. He let out a low groan while my body strained for more than a tease. I lifted my hips to rub up and down on his shaft.

We ground our bodies together, my gaze trapped by his own for a deliciously suspended moment. It never occurred to me this kind of intimacy was odd. I mean, most folks would be kissing and getting it on by now, but after all the exciting tension that had built all night, we suddenly slowed down…to savor. Damn, it was sexy.

Zero doubt played in my mind. I wanted this guy to help execute my plan. “I’m thinking I deserve one every day for the next twelve days,” I said as he moved in for a kiss.

The grinding of his hips against mine stopped. Chase pushed up on his elbows and stared at me, lifting a curious brow.

“Hear me out.” My fingers examined his rib cage, stopping to pay homage to his thick, oblique muscles. “I need someone like you to…” My throat closed. When had my palms become this sweaty? I took my hands off his body so he wouldn’t notice, and prayed the cool air would dry them.

“Like me?”

“Experienced…not looking for attachments.” I threw in the last bit to remind us both Chase fulfilled the role of Frog number one.

He grinned. “What do you need?”

“I want you to spend the next twelve days teaching…showing me how to make love.”

He winced, and sucked a hiss through his teeth. “You write sex for a living.”

“Writing about it and really living it are two different things.” I squirmed out of his hold. He pulled away as I sat Indian style across from him. “Look, here’s the deal. It’s been eight long years since I’ve been single, and now that I’m back on the market, I intend to be the best product out there.”

His lips twitched as his gaze roamed my body. “You’re pretty damn good as you are.”

I blushed and grabbed a red throw pillow to cover my nakedness. “Thanks, but I need, shall we say, tutoring in the fine art of love making.”

“Let me get this straight.” He barely contained the laughter in his voice. “You’re asking me to instruct you on how to have sex?”

“No.  I know how to have sex. Anybody can pump and hump.” The image of my ex flashed in my mind. “I want passion, chemistry and hot, sweaty multiple orgasms.” I tossed the pillow on the floor and rose, knee walking across the sofa toward him. My fingers teased the hem of his T-shirt. They finagled their way underneath the soft material and behind the waistband of his jeans. I pulled him close. “I want to make love.”

“For twelve days? Then I’m off the hook?” He looked so relieved I almost giggled.

I pushed my pelvis against his cock and smiled when it twitched back to life. “Yes.” I grabbed his ass and gave it a tight squeeze. Then, I ran my mouth up the side of his neck to his ear, nibbling the lobe. “You interested?”

******
As always, thanks for stopping by.
Southern Smiles,

Casey Crow

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Favorite Things About the South

Posted in General on November 6th, 2013 by Casey Crow

Fall is upon us and winter is fast approaching so stay warm and what better to heat things up with CAN’T FAKE THIS from Loose, id.

CAN’T FAKE THIS is about a divorcee ready to reenter the dating world. Anna Ryan is determined to be the best “product on the market,” which requires a lot more experience so she propositions sexy police officer Chase Harris to teach her how to make hot, passionate love as opposed to just having sex. He takes it a step further, instructing each lesson based on The Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…temptation in a hot package. For more, check out the book trailer and excerpt!

The story definitely has my “Sexy, Sassy & Southern” trademark so in honor of the hotness of CAN’T FAKE THIS and the hot weather down South, I’ve put together my list of Top 10 Favorite Things about the South.

1. Sweet tea and sweeter accents

2. Macaroni & cheese is a vegetable and pecan pie is a staple

3. Y’all is a proper noun

4. Smocked dresses and hairbows as big as a little girl’s head

5. Front porches are wide and words are long

6. Sultry summer nights that start in April

7. Mardi Gras

8. SEC football. Enough said.

9. Pageants are serious business

10. Everything is darlin’ and someone’s heart is always blessed

 

So what are your favorite things about where you live? I hope you’ll take advantage of the uniqueness of your area and enjoy it, no matter where you hail.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

Southern Smiles,

Casey Crow

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Bring your writing to life

Posted in General on October 23rd, 2013 by Casey Crow

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. (Sorry about that. Blame it on real life getting in the way of the fun!) Anyway, what better way to get back in the habit than talking about what I love — WRITING! Specifically, figurative language. Dictionary.com defines it as “speech or writing that departs from literal meaning in order to achieve a special effect or meaning.”

All writers use it (or should) in our writing, but recently I was reminded of what some of the figurative language is actually called thanks to my daughter’s school project. I’m proud to say I remembered most of the terms from my schooling way back when, but a couple I’d definitely forgotten about even though I use the process in my writing. Now I know what I’m writing!

Alliteration: The repetition of usually initial consonant sounds in two or more neighboring words or syllables. Ex: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Hyperbole: Huge exaggeration usually with humor. Ex: My cat is so fat, she needs a roller skate to keep her stomach off the floor.

Metaphor: Comparing two unlike things without using like or as. Ex: My aunt’s hair is a disco ball.

Personification: Giving something human qualities. Ex: The daisies danced in the breeze.

Cliché: A word or phrase that has become overly familiar or common place. Ex: Humpday!

Idiom: A set expression of two or more neighboring words that mean something other than the literal meaning. Ex: Knock my socks off!

Onomatopoeia: Naming a thing or an action by imitating a sound associated with it. Ex: Roar!

Simile: Comparing two unlike things using like or as. Ex: My cousin’s hair is like a yoga ball.

 

Again, thanks to my daughter for allowing me to share her figurative language suggestions. What’s your way to bring your writing to life? Or what type of figurative language intrigues you as a reader?

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My new commercial

Posted in General on January 3rd, 2013 by Casey Crow

One of my side jobs is being a professional model. Here’s a commercial I shot for Alabama Tourism. Okay, so I only have about two seconds of air time, but it was great fun making.
Casey’s AL Tourism Commercial


 

 

 

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Holiday Traditions with the 12 Days of Christmas Hop

Posted in General on December 11th, 2012 by Casey Crow

Thanks for joining the 12 Days of Christmas Hop. What better way to celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas than with a story based on the 12 Days of Christmas? CAN’T FAKE THIS was honored to be named 2011 Best Contemporary ~ Love Romances Cafe, 2012 Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence Winner, 2011 Golden Claddagh Finalist & Gold Star ~ Just Erotic Romance Reviews.

 

 A divorcee ready to reenter the dating world, Anna Ryan is determined to be the best “product on the market,” which requires a lot more experience so she propositions sexy police officer Chase Harris to teach her how to make hot, passionate love as opposed to just having sex. He takes it a step further, instructing each lesson based on The Twelve Days of Christmas.

 

Anna and Chase know what will keep them busy for the Twelve Days of Christmas. What about you? Do you have any special holiday traditions for you or your family? What’s your favorite? I love the craziness of Christmas Eve at my dad’s with all the grandkids tearing into to gifts all at once. I also love the excitement of my children when they wake me up at six a.m. on Christmas morning, and I won’t let them go downstairs until I can get down there with camera in hand.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Merry Christmas!

Here’s an ADULT Excerpt to heat up your holidays.

As I rummaged through my clutch for a dose of lip gloss, Marisol cleared her throat and cut her gaze across the room. I followed her line of vision and… Holy shit. I do believe my freakin’ heart stopped. He wasn’t supermodel gorgeous, not with his shaved head and height a tad on the short side, but his swagger… His near-predatory confidence as he maneuvered through the room made my eyes zero in on him. He locked on me, and I felt a slow, lazy smile spread across my lips. Suddenly we were the only two people in the room. My blood pressure hitched a degree with every step he took, and that feeling a girl gets when her heart beats so fast she’s on the verge of throwing up? Yep, I had it. I believe the technical term is “lust at first sight.”

A second later, his warm hand brushed my shoulder, and I’m not kidding, I thought I might melt right off that stool. Even the fine hairs on my arms stood on end, completely attuned to him and begging for attention. Needless to say, my nipples gave him a proud salute.

“Hi, I’m Chase Harris.” His heated breath tickled my ear as he leaned in to be heard over the country rock band jamming out twenty feet away.

My lungs folded and decided breathing was no longer necessary. The brief contact ignited a fiery liquid in the bottom of my tummy. My pussy simmered for the first time in years without the aid of batteries. “Anna Ryan,” I answered. “It’s nice to meet you.” Was it ever. I extended my hand, which he ignored for a hug.

My nostrils filled with the citrus scent of cologne, but underneath I detected something more masculine, more primal. I longed to bury my face in his soft gray fitted T-shirt. The garment outlined every perfect bulge. I couldn’t make out its graffiti design, but it very well could’ve said Eat Me and I would’ve happily obliged.

His gaze roamed my body, and the sexy glint in his eyes told me the risk of catching a cold in this black strapless mini was totally worth it. I might be in dire need of a boob job, but Chase didn’t seem to mind my negative As. Then the space between us grew cold as he left my side to hug Marisol.

“Cuba! Hey, woman. Great to see you.”

“Hey, yourself.” She flashed me a shrewd grin.

I so owed that girl.

******

Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter to stay up-to-date on upcoming releases! My agent has me editing up a storm on new projects!

Buy Kindle version on Amazon

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CAN’T FAKE THIS Excerpt

See the CAN’T FAKE THIS book trailer

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Visit Casey at http://www.caseycrow.com.  On Facebook at Casey Crow and Twitter at caseyecrow.

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DWAM Siren Publishing

 

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How do you Christmas shop?

Posted in General on November 22nd, 2012 by Casey Crow

We all know Black Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year? Are you one to get up at the butt crack of dawn, scrounge the aisles, and fight the crowds to get the best bargains? Do you shop online in the comfort of your jammies? Are you one of those annoying organized people who have all your shopping done before Thanksgiving? Do you spend the extra twenty at Toys r Us or the mall next week when the crowds aren’t so crazy? Do you wait till the last minute like my dad?

I’ll admit, I’m an online shopper, followed by a Toys r Us run after Black Friday since most of the stuff I need is out of stock online. Did you notice I said “need” as in my son’s NEEDS more legos. LOL However, I’m think I’m going to brave the crowds on Black Friday – or try to. I might chicken out though when I see the number of cars in the parking. I can guarantee I won’t be one of those early bird people. Casey is not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. I do like to stroll the mall at some point before Christmas, maybe picking up that last item or just browsing. I like to see the decorations and hear the carols blasting through the speakers. It just puts you in the spirit, you know?

Well, whatever kind of shopper you are, I hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving!

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The Romance Reviews Year-End Event

Posted in General on November 15th, 2012 by Casey Crow

Take part in a chance to win my book CAN’T FAKE THIS as well as other great prizes from The Romance Reviews with this really cool Q&A game now through Dec. 15.  Go Play!

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